Julie Chamberlain

Taking a momentary reprieve from housers, here’s a younger Ctrl-Alt-Del girl we used to call “Morrissey chick” (on account of her being alty and rocking a Morrissey shirt from time to time). She was a pal of alterno-chick (aka Catherine Stankowski), and I’ll be frank – I thought she was cute. After all, it takes balls (metaphorically) – as well as a pretty face (actually) – to get away with sporting a short hairdo. Maybe not the most accurate portrayal but hopefully those who know her will get the gist.

Jack Bae Redux

Because even li’l Korean rapscallions deserve proper representation, here’s my re-do of ol’ Jack Bae. I think this captures the right amount of insouciance.

Jack Bae

In Korean, there’s this word pronounced “gahng-peh”. Loosely translated, it means “gangster” or “punk”. That’s what comes to mind with this li’l Houser here – whom I should point I never, ever met or knew in hi skool.

Why? A combination of things, I suppose. The hair; the jaunty smirk (which I didn’t do a great job of translating to this tumblrino, though). Well, I guess that’s just two things…

On a related note, when I was in hi skool I didn’t think there were a lot of Koreans there. In retrospecticus, however, I can see I was sorely mistaken. The yearbook is crawling with them! Perhaps it was due to my own blinding self-loathing or some other factors that shielded them from my withering gaze. Who knows…

Mitchell La

Does anyone remember that video game, “King of the Monsters”? I think it was an SNK joint inside those Neo Geo machines. Basic premise is Rampage on a 3D-ish landscape. You could be a Godzilla-clone, an Ultraman-clone or some other monsters – and you basically duke it out with each other and a multitude of puny humanoid armies.

What’s that got to do with Mitchell La? Well, this week(ish) I aim to draw the “King of the Housers” – “housers” being what we used to call the (mostly) Asian dudes with gelled-up hair and fat pants who listened to house music. [Not to be confused with Ravers, who also wore fat pants, albeit with a lot more candy-based jewelry and fun fur…]

Was Mitchell La their king? I dunno, rilly… But his hair and steez was certainly emblematic of their whole schtick. Dunno if you can tell from this drawing, but dude was definitely on some Eurasian shit, too.

Shaun Taylor

Another big hairstyle in the early 90s – the mushroom cut. There were many variants, but that whole shaved-undersides thing was usually the common thread.

And honestly, dude looked way dorkier in his yearbook photo than I’ve made him appear here. Generally, these drawings skew uglier – in that they’re less attractive than the people I’m depicting. Herein lies the exception… (sorry, Shaun)

Laura Riley

This drawing doesn’t really do this chick justice, but we have a saying around here: “Get used to it, Hitler…”

In my defense, her yearbook photo didn’t really do her justice either. She was a couple years younger than me and my peeps, but for whatever reason we knew her and her crew. Of course, her game was tighter than that of her compatriots. On an unrelated note, I believe she is also a mom these days…

Jeffrey Hagan

So dude’s not very alternative – looking, anyway… But this side-part with leftovers-on-the-back hairdo was pretty common in the late 80s/early 90s. Why? I can’t honestly tell you. Maybe a dude in Glass Tiger rocked that shit. Or the lead singer of Honeymoon Suite. I’m not intentionally dissing CanCon here – I just can’t think of any other more period-appropriate musical acts that may have committed similar follicle atrocities.

Of course, the joke is ultimately on me (when is it ever not?) because right now I would kill to have dude’s amount of hair…

Katherine Stankowski

Speaking of alterno-chicks, we actually used to call her “alterno-chick”. Not that we didn’t know her – or her name. She was friends with this other alterno-chick we used to call Morrissey girl (she used to rock a Morrissey t-shirt frequently). They were both younger than us dudes. After a lifetime of dating progressively younger women (relative to my ever-increasing years), this observation seems, I dunno, poignant? Relevant? Creepy? Jeez…

Anyway, the original point I was going to make is that this hairstyle obviously wasn’t limited to dudes. And like the male version, this style was equally comfortable moshing to Ned’s Atomic Dustbin (everyone under 35 is like “who?”) as it was rawking out to Metallica. On a semi-related note, I believe she’s a mom now.

Chris Talluri

Speaking of alterno-kids, here’s a classic early 90s haircut for the indie crowd. Why? Versatility. You could go grunge, shoegaze, industrial (Nine Inch Nails, inexplicably, was very popular at the time)… even metal and instantly be down. This look likely would’ve surrounded you at a Rage Against The Machine concert back then…

Look, I ain’t hatin’ (well, I am hating against RATM and NIN), just observatin’. And I’m sure this li’l twerp got a lot of play for his sullen, angsty-looking indie troubles.

Liam O’Neil

I know it’s been a minute, but I finally ran out of excuses to slack so now I’m back (unintentional rhyme), Mondays to Fridays at least.

Anyhoo, this dude here represents another of those indie/Ctrl-Alt-Del archetypes from the early 90s. Bonus points for a super-British name, too (way before Oasis, I might add).

But don’t get it twisted – most alty folks back then didn’t have the misfortune of being so handsome, or having their Morrissey-esque hair work so good. Naw, most alterno-cats backintheday just looked awkward, sullen and pasty…