On Tak Wong
Dag – good thing I finally found this guy’s yearbook picture! I don’t think calling him “Random Asian Dude” would’ve been fair – especially since he’s rocking some vintage late-80s stylings: namely a rugby sweater and a Dep-gelled classic Asian haircut.
Combine that with a wispy mustache and you’ve got at least one comprehensive look at the Asian pre-21st-century hi skool experience. Luckily, my own wispy mustache didn’t take full E-F-F-E-C-T until my late 20s. And no rugby jerseys since I played that oft-confusing sport…
J. Shao – the re-mix
Aside from a few re-dos, I haven’t drawn two different yearbook pictures of the same person - until now. When we last saw J. Shao, he was playing the role of racial doppelgänger to one F. Bawcutt, a.k.a. “globuloso” (making him “Asian globuloso”, if you’re scoring at home).
Anyhow, the reason he gets a sequel is simple: I was flipping through a yearbook when I noticed that not only did he get older – he got fresher. No more Fobby bangs – now he’s getting Dep on that ass. And then there’s the threads – an MF’n Nike Air Jordan IV “Flight” track jacket!?! And he’s all like, “Yeah, whateves… Where the weed at?” (I doubt he’s ever said “Where the weed at?”, but with his str8t gangsta expression to match the jacket, anything is possible…)
So, yeah – basically he’s in because his jacket is ridiculously dope. I mean, what’s with shit holding down the drawstrings? It’s needlessly fly shit like that whut makes Jordans so nice, nawimean? They didn’t need to do it. But they did. Completely superfluous – and kinda fly.
It’s like that move Mike made against the Lakers in Game 2 of the ‘91 Finals. He gets the pass from Livingston, drives down the lane and elevates with the ball in his right hand for the dunk – then switches the ball to his left hand and lays it in on the way down. Insanely nice. A l’il too nice, even…
Oh yeah, the point – needlessly sick. Just some fuckin’ sauce for the sheer joy of making sauce. Just like the kicks and the jacket. And by the glorious law of shine*, just like J. Shao.
* “Shine” being the circle of influence that a particular celebrity (and the products he or she endorses) exudes. Mike had ridiculous amounts of shine – and thus, so did his shoes. Of course, it helped that they were actually beautiful all on their own, but you catch my drift…