First off, dope name! With a moniker like that, he could be a rapper along the lines of Craig Mack (whose name is really, yes, Craig Mack).
Anyhow, yes, the Minnesota (!) Twins were popular back then – or at least their hat was. So was rocking it with a big tuft of hair in front of the brim. I don’t recall enough about dude to recall it was an authentic fitted or not, but I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt.
He was one of those perpetual man-boys – in that he always looked like he was 12 years old, even upon graduation. But that name! That’s the type of handle that’ll take you places, seen? Like if he was an NFL quarterback, that’s a starter right there. Mike Streeter? Are you kidding me? Call this cool-name-athlete-thang the “Tony Romo effect”….
We used to call this dude “Velvet Jones”, from the ol’ Eddie Murphy SNL sketch. I know, mega-cruel – but it’s not like we said that shit to dude’s face. Anyhow, it didn’t rilly register at the time, but I think dude wuz like the only black guy to rock straightened hair back then. It also makes me wonder, retrospectively, about his sexuality. That sounds likes a dis, too – but it’s not. Honestly – just an observation.
I mean, C’mon! This is the Maestro/black medallions era, which would slowly morph into the Ruffneck Champion Reverse Weave/Tim’s era. Whut’s that mean, exactly? Well, for black guys’ hair, it means definitely not straightened. But who knows, rilly? Maybe he wuz going through the awkward stages before arriving at a Dru Down/DJ Quik-type shit… which could make him a wood-be/wanna-be pimp, much like Velvet Jones…
I referred to this dude earlier (see Kristen B.) in terms of prodigious cameos/box cuts/flat tops – and as you can plainly see, I ain’t no liar.
You can’t rilly tell from my drawing, however, that he’s got this kinda defiant look/stance to him. Even if you were an alien from the planet Zonkulus, if you came across his picture in my yearbook you’d just know he wuz some sorta cool. I mean, his frickin’ name is Yohance! Whut kinda name is that shit, anyway? Dutch? Black American? Who knows – and frankly, who cares? It just sounds right. Add the fact that his last name rhymes with the actor who played TV’s “Hunter”, and you end up with str8t murder.
Speaking of forgotten ’80s TV tough guys, someone recently gave me the oddest (and coolest) compliment ever. Running into these kinda nerdy-then-still-nerdy-now, but-hella-successful cousins of a childhood friend, one of them told me I looked like “Hawk”. And I wuz like, “Hawk as in the cohort of TV’s Spencer for Hire? As played by Avery Brooks, to Robert Urich’s Spencer?” And they wuz like, yup.
Then they proceeded to discuss how Avery Brooks also starred in Deep Space Nine, in their estimation the best Star Trek series. When I ax’ed why, they said it dealt with the realities and moral ambiguities of the utopian ideal presented in all the other series. Which is actually a purdy good argument, except for the that ugly shape-shifting dude, Odo. They only had the budget to transform his ass like once an episode, thereby kinda killing my suspension of disbelief. But I digress…
I had a crush on this chick, I ain’t afraid to say. Wuz it the insouciant haircut? Likely. This drawing doesn’t rilly do her justice (which makes me think there’s a V2 brewing, but we’ll see) – but trust me, she had it going on. As you may also be able to tell, white chicks wuz my thang – and I ain’t mean the Wayan bros. movie (which, so far as I know, wuzn’t anybody’s thang). But bless ‘em for trying, I guess…
This is the proto haircut for the Ctrl-Alt-Del guy – but it prob’ly helps if you’re a brooding, handsome white guy like Rob here. I’m gonna stop right here before I get any more gay…
This dude reminds me a Lockjaw, the Inhumans’ giant dog. If you don’t get that reference, you’re probably better off not knowing. Trust me…
Anyhow, when my homeboy Rob saw dude, he wuz like “He probably had loads of comics [back then],” and I wuz all like, “More like loads o’ beers…” Cuz it’s true – cats aren’t nearly as nerdy or as cool as you think they are. Anyone can drink a shitload of beer and alcohol. It takes two types to take drugs: self-destructive timebombs and people who wanna have a good time. Or you can avoid both lanes and just be square. And on that note, Meeeerry Christmas!
Tomorrow’s a write-off – thanks to the NBA’s divine intervention. To paraphrase Tupac, “I ain’t mad atcha, D. Stern…” Well, maybe a li’l mad. But I prefer to blame the Dan Gilberts of this world. Anyway, let’s just bury the hatchet and enjoy some sweet-ass NBA basketball tomorrow, world! I know that’s whut I’m be doin’…
When that guy from A-Ha broke through the mirror in the “Take On Me” video, he musta brought Bill with him. Bill wuz prob’ly the drummer’s Greek cousin or something. Seriously, though, hair wuz like this all over the place leading into the early ‘90s. Speaking of which, whut’s the right way to do that? I guess it comes down to personal preference, but you got a zillion variations: 90s, ’90s, 90’s, Nineties, nineties, etc. I won’t even get into the “1990s” thang here.
And let’s not forget my fave ’90s (my pref.) Vietnamese-owned strip club – none other than ’90s 90s 90s on Ossington south of Dundas (now long gone and gentrified)…
There’s a great example of an equivalently popular/dated chick ’do I’ll share witch’all tomorrow. And her pic wuz right above Wild Bill, here. And yes, I never knew dude until I came across his picture here.
Ethnic mullet, example three… Never laid eyes on duke until now – but I like his particularly. His whole stee’ seems slightly sinister, nawimean? I don’t mean in some stereotypical-terrorist-True-Lies type shit.
If we’re talkin’ villainous stereotypes, I’d say he’s moreso a Snidley Whiplash – and the mullet is just a delicious bonus. Apologies if I made him seem a li’l grotesque, but Otto Dix seemed to do it and peeps ain’t seem to mind…
Proof that mullets aren’t limited to crackers. Of course, I have no idea if Galanos is a Greek or Sri Lankanly Portuguese name – but I figgered the frizziness of his hair and a darker complexion were ethnic enough to qualify. Now due to the poor quality of yearbook mugshots in general, you can’t rilly tell if his shirt is a mockneck or whut – but he looks like some kinda eletric boogaloo ‘80s Bollywood priest with that li’l gold cross.
Obvs didn’t know this dude in hi skool. Never even laid eyes on him (or his yearbook portrait) until a couple days ago. Might have a mini-sequence of ethnic mullets – provided I can find them. But I got a hall-of-famer coming up next fo’ sho’…
Before Greek dudes and Ginos found house music, there wuz rock. Here’s the evidence. This is an era where beer and alcohol baseball caps enjoyed their greatest triumphs. New Era existed, yes – but Starter ruled the roost, with The Game and assorted others brands trailing in their wake. And beer hats? Them shits ran wild like Adrian Peterson. If it wuzn’t Bud or Jack, it wuz Red Dog and Black Label. Blue, Ex, Canadian, all them joints. At the time, I hated it. But is it worse than caps reppin’ Famous, DC, LRG, The Hundreds or Crooks & Castles?
At least them beer shits is honest. Let’s face it – Gary C prob’ly did like Labatt Blue. A lot. There’s no double meaning there. He was being neither fashionable nor trendy. There’s no “clever” lampoon of someone else’s logo with a swear word cleverly inserted. It’s not a traditional baseball team’s hat in garish patterns. There’s no over-sized logo covering 75% of the hat’s surface area. It’s just a goddamn beer hat – and that’s they way we liked it.