Jack Bae Redux

Because even li’l Korean rapscallions deserve proper representation, here’s my re-do of ol’ Jack Bae. I think this captures the right amount of insouciance.

Shaun Taylor

Another big hairstyle in the early 90s – the mushroom cut. There were many variants, but that whole shaved-undersides thing was usually the common thread.

And honestly, dude looked way dorkier in his yearbook photo than I’ve made him appear here. Generally, these drawings skew uglier – in that they’re less attractive than the people I’m depicting. Herein lies the exception… (sorry, Shaun)

Laura Riley

This drawing doesn’t really do this chick justice, but we have a saying around here: “Get used to it, Hitler…”

In my defense, her yearbook photo didn’t really do her justice either. She was a couple years younger than me and my peeps, but for whatever reason we knew her and her crew. Of course, her game was tighter than that of her compatriots. On an unrelated note, I believe she is also a mom these days…

Jeffrey Hagan

So dude’s not very alternative – looking, anyway… But this side-part with leftovers-on-the-back hairdo was pretty common in the late 80s/early 90s. Why? I can’t honestly tell you. Maybe a dude in Glass Tiger rocked that shit. Or the lead singer of Honeymoon Suite. I’m not intentionally dissing CanCon here – I just can’t think of any other more period-appropriate musical acts that may have committed similar follicle atrocities.

Of course, the joke is ultimately on me (when is it ever not?) because right now I would kill to have dude’s amount of hair…

Katherine Stankowski

Speaking of alterno-chicks, we actually used to call her “alterno-chick”. Not that we didn’t know her – or her name. She was friends with this other alterno-chick we used to call Morrissey girl (she used to rock a Morrissey t-shirt frequently). They were both younger than us dudes. After a lifetime of dating progressively younger women (relative to my ever-increasing years), this observation seems, I dunno, poignant? Relevant? Creepy? Jeez…

Anyway, the original point I was going to make is that this hairstyle obviously wasn’t limited to dudes. And like the male version, this style was equally comfortable moshing to Ned’s Atomic Dustbin (everyone under 35 is like “who?”) as it was rawking out to Metallica. On a semi-related note, I believe she’s a mom now.

Mike Streeter

First off, dope name! With a moniker like that, he could be a rapper along the lines of Craig Mack (whose name is really, yes, Craig Mack). 

Anyhow, yes, the Minnesota (!) Twins were popular back then – or at least their hat was. So was rocking it with a big tuft of hair in front of the brim. I don’t recall enough about dude to recall it was an authentic fitted or not, but I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

He was one of those perpetual man-boys – in that he always looked like he was 12 years old, even upon graduation. But that name! That’s the type of handle that’ll take you places, seen? Like if he was an NFL quarterback, that’s a starter right there. Mike Streeter? Are you kidding me? Call this cool-name-athlete-thang the “Tony Romo effect”….

David Ma

Speaking of fobby hair, heeeeere’s Davey! Dude was on the cover of the Scarborough Recreation & Parks Calendar/Schedule thingy backintheday (mid 80s?) playing basketball. Dunno if he had game or not, though…

We went to grade skool together, too. Remember those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books? We wrote one together in grade 5 called Commando Squad. If you don’t know, the structure of the books was a li’l bit of story, and then a choice: if you pick option A), turn to page 6. Option B), page 12. And so on and so forth.

Except in Commando Squad, if you didn’t pick the “right” option, you ended up dying in one of many ninja-y/G.I. Joe-esque ways. So really, there was only one adventure to choose from – assuming you actually wanted to read that piece of trash. FYI, the look was heavily influenced by Ultimatum of mid-90s Captain America comics “fame”.

I always thought ol’ Davey looked kinda extra childish and cute here, like an animé chipmunk or something…

Elizabeth Loh

I dunno this chick personally, but she got around a lot like 2Pac in ‘92. Nothing lascivious here – I just mean she was in assemblies and hallways and yearbooks and shit an awful lot. And it weren’t cuz she was some sports superstar or prom queen (we never had a prom king or queen – did we?)…

This semi-dykey-lookin’ ‘do wasn’t uncommon amongst chicks Asian and otherwise backintheday – another reason why this page keeps yielding some sweet portraits. And I honestly think I’m doing her mad justice here. Trust me.

Deborah Whyte

I can’t quite tell if she’s Trini, Guyanese or just straight-up Black due to the lightness of skin. Either way, quite a popular hair-steez amongst black chicks backintheday…

I also always find it disturbing when you can’t see someone’s eye – unless it’s because one eye is covered with an eye-patch, Hathaway-Man style or otherwise…

Other famous one-eyed dudes? Ummm, Sagat? Nick Fury? That’s all I got…

Ezra Chang

I know – the fuck kinda name is Ezra, am I right? But Korean folks are mad guilty of naming their seeds on some biblical shit – at least when they name ‘em in English. Hence the preponderance of Graces and Esthers and whatnot. 

So dude was kind of a handsome cat, which I don’t think I’ve necessarily succeeding in capturing here. But frankly, who cares? I say that cuz I first met duder in like the summer after grade 7 (or maybe grade 8) at this Korean Summer Skool. Wuzzat? y’all white folks are probably askin’. 

It’s basically summer skool for kids who didn’t fail shit but whose parents thought it’d be best if they learned Korean (and other stuff) during the summer regardless.

Anyhow, I met him there and he was a dick. Later he showed up at my hi skool – and I can’t honestly say I said a word to him then, so maybe he stopped being a dick. Who knows (or cares)?

His younger sister was mad hot, though. I recall my homeboy Ray asked her out backintheday, but she rebuffed him on some “I only date Korean dudes”-type shit. I guess this is reverse poetic justice, or something – but who am I to say? I’ve got my own bullshit proclivities I’m going to try harder to keep to myself…